That's What They All Say
by Saya Moonshadow
Summary: There is definitely a good reason that I'm going through your underwear drawer right now. I just have yet to come up with it! CharlieOlivia, implied TancredEmma.


**EDIT 9/28/11: Just a tiny edit to fix a few things, including a tiny problem with the formatting. The fic itself remains unchanged, however, so read on! No spoilers for _Red Knight_ either, as this was written before that came out. So no worries there. Please forgive any inconsistencies with the canon as a result, plzkthnxbai.**

**First time writing for this fandom, and I'm still not entirely sure just WHERE this came from. Blah.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing of this series, for **_**The Children of the Red King**_** belongs to Jenny Nimmo! I'm just _Saya Moonshadow_, a lowly closet fan of the books.**

**Summary: There is definitely a good reason that I'm going through your underwear drawer right now. I just have yet to come up with it! CharlieOlivia, implied TancredEmma.**

**That's What They All Say  
By: Saya Moonshadow  
**

"Er, I _swear_ there's a good reason for this, Charlie..."

"You swear there's a good reason you raided my underwear?"

Yeah, life can really suck sometimes, can't it?

* * *

It was all Emma's fault.

Well, sort of.

OK, OK, so I had a hand in it too. But it was _mostly_ Emma's fault! See, after getting her happily-ever-after with Tancred after the whole dead-but-not-really-dead-just-in-some-sort-of-super-coma thing, she decided that I needed a happily-ever-after with _my_ Prince Charming as well.

We're keeping in mind that my Prince Charming is the guy who arrives to school on Mondays with his shirt buttons in the wrong holes, his pants twisted at a 45 degree angle, and who probably doesn't know that combs were invented to help people control their hair.

Not to mention he's sort of clueless about...well, everything in general. Heck, I could outright state I like him _IN FRONT OF HIM_, and he wouldn't get it.

Yeah, why do I like him again?

I don't know either.

Anyway, it was a Friday night, and Emma and I were getting rather hyped up on massive amounts of ice cream and chocolate and soda, and she mentioned how happy Tancred makes her. As if I didn't know this already. And apparently Tancred does great things with his mouth. Um, _ew_, Emma, I did not need to know that!

Like any teenage girls who have had too much sugar on a Friday night, we started talking about the resident males in our lives. Emma was of the opinion that Tancred trumps all, with the possible exception of this one older guy in the senior class who is actually quite good-looking.

"Don't let Tancred hear that," I warned and took another giant bite of my ice cream.

"Oh, don't worry," she giggled, "He already knows."

And he doesn't do anything about it? I'm surprised the poor other guy isn't fried to a crisp by now or something...

"Didn't you ever wonder why Sean transferred dorms? Because apparently Tancred threatened him or something."

Oh. Well, it wasn't as violent as I had thought it would be, but still rather Tancred-ish.

We then went on to list the good and bad qualities about the other males that we know. Gabriel, cute, shy, well-mannered, but has a borderline creepy obsession with furry little rodents - I mean gerbils. Asa, tall, strong, much smarter than he made himself out to be while still a student here, but has more than a few canine tendencies (such as digging up flower beds). Fidelio, cute, good-mannered, good sense of humor, but has no time for anything other than his violin. Manfred, (er, does he even _have_ any good qualities?), hypnotizes and/or burns and/or threatens with severe bodily harm those who annoy him, has an evil cult following, sees no problem in killing people, etcetera. Dagbert, tall, alright when not in creepy evil boy mood, but has aforementioned creepy evil boy mood and has a tendency to drown people who aggravate him (no wonder he and Manfred get along so well!). Lysander, _great_ personality, tall, brilliant, loyal, but isn't interested in anyone except his girlfriend and has invisible drums following him around everywhere. Billy, cute, smart, but way too young and painfully shy.

And then there's Tancred, who's perfect in Emma's eyes, and Charlie. Who is so clueless it's _cute_. I can see it now...

"Oh Charlie, you're so adorable when you ignore my proclamations of love!"

"Huh? Someone say my name?"

Sadly, that isn't too much of an exaggeration.

At all.

* * *

"So, Liv, we need to figure out how to get you and Charlie together." Emma said when we were about an hour into our current activity of Compare and See Which Male Constant In Our Lives Is Most Worth Snogging. I almost choked on my ice cream, which would be sad, considering how good it was.

But really, the only thing going through my head was, _Oh crap I'm caught, how the heck did she KNOW?_

"WHAT!"

"Liv," she said, rolling her eyes, "it's so obvious you like him. Even _Tancred_ has noticed it. The only one who hasn't is Charlie."

"Charlie wouldn't notice if his house were to catch on fire." I mumbled, and snootily took a bite of ice cream. And regretted it instantly as brain freeze set in. "And I so do not like him. What makes you think I do?"

"Well," she said, and began to count them off on her fingers, "you always stand next to him, you're always staring at him and trying to get his attention, he's the first person you say hi to when you walk in, you pick on him a bit, he's the first person you go to when you've got a problem, and you always dress extra nice when you know he's going to be there."

Well damn. She had me there. Was I really so obvious? I was supposed to be a freaking _actress_, for crying out loud! Hiding a stupid crush should be no problem for me!

I decided to play it cool. You know, not let on just how _big_ said stupid crush actually was. By this point, I was fairly sure it went beyond just "stupid crush".

"OK, so say I _do_ like him...what's it to you?"

And here, Emma actually looked annoyed. "Um, Liv, if you like him as much as you do, you need to let him know." she said. "And he likes you too, you know. He's always complimenting you, right? He never compliments _me_ or anyone else that way."

"He's probably just lying to make me feel better about myself."

"Olivia. Stop. Making. Excuses."

I hate it when she uses that forceful voice...it kind of scares me...

Perhaps I should mention that this is where we started coming up with our ingenious plan to get Charlie to admit he likes me. The sugar was _really_ starting to kick in by then, and I have a weakness for wacky ideas, which Emma knows very well. If it's crazy, then I have to try it out. Fidelio tells me that this will mark my downfall one day and he probably wasn't too far off!

Somehow me stealing an essential part of Charlie's clothing and refusing to give it back until he admitted to liking me came into the picture, and we decided that that would be our game plan. I'd go in, steal it, and then basically hold an article of clothing hostage.

Knowing Charlie, he'd probably tell me I could have it and just go out and buy a new one to replace it.

So we decided instead that we (or rather I) would search for his diary, considering, of course, that he even _had_ a diary in the first place.

He probably did, but was just too lazy to write in it.

And since it was only 8 P.M., we locked up the shop (Emma's aunt having gone on a date with Charlie's uncle), left a note in case said aunt came back before us and we weren't there, and made our way to Charlie's house.

I'd been to Charlie's house before, of course, but never upstairs. Only the foyer, the kitchen, and the living room. OK, so I've been halfway up the stairs, but that was because I was making him chase me after I stole one of his shoes at his uncle's birthday party a few years ago, and he caught me before I could make it all the way up.

Ahh, good times, good times...

His grandmother, Maisie Jones, was surprised but pleased to see us, and invited us to come in. Charlie was out with Benjamin, she explained, but was due back shortly. In the meantime, would we like to sit down and have a sandwich or something?

Emma, since she hadn't consumed even _half_ as much ice cream and chocolate as I had, opted for the sandwich, making jerking motions with her head towards the stairs, and I put on a sweet smile. "Actually, Mrs. Jones, is there a bathroom I could use?"

"Oh sure," she said, "the one down here is blocked, but the one upstairs still works. At least, I think it does..."

This was going _perfectly_. Ha. HA. _HA._

Someone up there loves me!

"OK, thanks!" And I skipped out of the kitchen and up the stairs, straight into Charlie's room.

OK, where to look? His room was a MESS, there was stuff all over the place. Clothes, books, papers, random knick-knacks...how on earth he managed to live in this mess was beyond me. Then again, I'd heard that sometimes Mr. Yewbeam's bed was totally invisible due to being buried under heaps upon heaps of paper.

And my own room was rather messy. See, when I'm done with an outfit, I just sort of throw it wherever and go about my business, and my mom later comes in and picks it up and either washes it for me or hangs it back up.

I managed to pick my way over to the desk, and started rummaging through the drawers. Pencils, pens, and a photo of what I recognized as Runner Bean in one drawer. Dusty looking books in the next. In the next few drawers were a bunch of paintbrush sets, various bits and pieces of musical instruments, and, oddly enough, drama masks. Some of them were actually really amazingly painted! Why the heck were they just sitting in a drawer?

Oh, wait, it's _Charlie_ we're talking about. He wasn't interested in anything except saving the world and being a normal teenager while not occupied with the former.

So the desk yielded no satisfying results (although I _did_ find a picture of him as a baby, and he was surprisingly adorable sitting in a high chair and throwing Cheerios at the camera). I then moved on to the next thing on my list of Things-To-Search - the dresser. Hey, it's where _I_ hide my _own_ diary, so why not Charlie, the King of Cluelessness? Subtlety was lost on him, so he probably wouldn't have figured out that the dresser really _isn't_ the best place to hide things from prying people (especially not girls).

First drawer held a few extra blue capes, and a quick peek under all of them revealed no secrets. No hidden journal here.

The second drawer contained T-shirts, mostly white, gray, black, or red. He needed some variety. When we married sometime in the near future, I would make sure he had a different shirt to wear every day. Seriously, at 15 he should be at least a _little_ more fashion-conscious by now!

Not that I minded, though. In fact, it was just one more thing I found cute about him, the total opposite-ness thing we had. But hey, opposites attract, right?

It had worked for Emma, after all!

And the third drawer contained...underwear. I admit that I blushed fairly hard when this fact sank in, and it was with some hesitation that I began to rummage.

And that's when the door to his room opened and a voice said, "What the-? Olivia?"

I shot straight upwards, tripping over something on the floor, flinging something slightly heavy and brown into the air, and landing flat on my face. The slightly heavy and brown thing fell onto my head with a little _thunk_ the next second.

I lifted it off my head and grinned sheepishly up at Charlie, who was staring down at me with a rather confused and surprised expression on his face. Awh, he looks like a confused puppy when he does that...

"Er, I _swear_ there's a good reason for this, Charlie..."

"You swear there's a good reason you raided my underwear?"

Which brings us back to the fact that life can really _SUCK_.

* * *

You see, there's a good reason _somewhere_ in there why I like Charlie so much.

He's honest. He's kind. He's loyal to a fault. If he knows something is wrong, he won't do it. He's not a genius, but he's not stupid either. He's cute. He's always willing to help someone in need. He rarely has a bad thing to say about anyone, the Bloors and their minions being the only exception. He's efficient when he puts his mind to something.

And as much as I hate to admit it, his smile rreeaaalllllyyyyy sort of makes me melt like a cone of ice cream on a hot day.

Sure, he's clueless, a little shy, and probably hasn't yet noticed the difference between boys and girls, but somehow, that doesn't really matter to me.

And he's also the only person who wouldn't be angry about someone raiding his underwear drawer, but instead be confused as to just _why_ it was done.

Did I mention he was clueless?

* * *

"Um..." I bit my lip, sitting up and leaning my hands onto my knees. "Uh..."

To stall for time, I glanced at the floor and at the thing that had landed on my head when I did my oh-so-elegant Olivia Vertigo patented faceplant: a book. A rather old and frayed-looking book. With the word "JOURNAL" written across its cover.

Insert multiple expletives here. He walked in just as I found the stupid thing?

When I looked back up at Charlie, he was looking mightily amused, but obviously trying not to show it. Although for the life of me I failed to see just _what_ was so darn funny...

He kneeled down before me, now smiling. "Were you...er, looking for something?"

No, I was going through your underwear drawer out of pure curiosity as to just what kind of underwear you preferred.

Of _course_ I was looking for something, you dork!

"I was, uh, looking for...uh..." I need a good excuse, quick!

"...you!"

WHAT THE HECK, BRAIN, THAT IS NOT A GOOD EXCUSE!

Charlie now looked confused again. That expression really is just too cute... "You were looking for me in my underwear drawer?"

Because he can so totally fit, at age 15 and at a height of five feet and eight inches, in a tiny little drawer. I am a _genius_.

I sighed. "Actually, Charlie, I was looking for-"

"My journal?"

And I gaped. "What? How did you know?"

"Olivia," he sighed, "in case you hadn't noticed, subtlety is sort of lost on me." Oh I noticed, no worries there. "It hadn't occurred to me until just a minute ago that I should probably hide it somewhere better in case my uncle decided to use it to embarrass me or something, and that's what I was coming up here to do: to find a better hiding place for it."

Well. Looks like I was just in time! Or maybe slightly late. If only Emma and I had thought of this sooner...

In any case, the only thing I could think of to say was, "Oh."

"And, er...when I saw Emma in there with Maisie, I had a feeling you would be somewhere around here as well. I just didn't think you'd be in _here_. Maisie told me you were in the bathroom, after all. But I didn't want you 'accidentally' wandering in here and going through my stuff."

I scoffed at this. "I do not do that kind of thing!"

He raised a brow at me, and I was forced to concede that, um, _hi_, I had just done that kind of thing. Way to go, Liv! You just contradicted yourself!

"OK, maybe so I just _did_, but can you blame me?"

"Seeing as how it's _my_ underwear you were going through, yes," Charlie said, although he was grinning now. WHAT WAS SO BLOODY FUNNY? I failed to see the humor in this situation!

"Um, OK...but why would you be worried about me coming in here and...and..."

Oh. My. _GAWD._

He _knew_. He freaking _KNEW_. That smug little grin could mean no other thing.

"You _KNEW!_" I shrieked, scrambling backwards. "You _KNEW_ I liked you! And you did nothing! And you still let me embarrass myself like this! How did you know? I was totally careful about it! No one could have known, well, except maybe Emma but she's my best friend, and maybe she implied that Tancred knows too, but-"

"Actually," he interrupted, "it was Tancred who told me. Believe me, I wouldn't have noticed either, but well, he told me to just watch for the signs and they were all there."

Note to self: make it so that Tancred can never have blonde-haired little stormbringing idiots running around. Even though Emma just might kill me for said action.

And while I'm at it, ask the ground to open up and swallow me so that I may never embarrass myself like this in front of Charlie ever again. But then that would mean not seeing him ever again either, and-

"Do you want to go out tomorrow?"

-that would just be pure _misery_, and - waitaminnit, did he JUST SAY WHAT I THINK HE SAID?

"_WHAT!_"

Charlie winced and rubbed his ears. "There's one thing to be said for being in drama for as long as you have - your voice carries really well." He cleared his throat, now looking distinctly nervous - and I thought the confusion was cute - and said, "Do you want to go out tomorrow? To see a movie or something?"

Um, _yes?_

Because I have only been madly in love with you for, like, ever?

And am still rather embarrassed that I went through all of this even though you already _knew_ I had a thing for you and could have _done_ something about it and want to distract you from my misdeeds somehow, but who cares about that!

"...Liv?"

"Huh - wha?" I snapped out of my daze and smiled brightly. "Oh. Yes! And you're buying the tickets!" Because when your One True Love asks you out, you take advantage of the fact that your dream is now coming true! Inside, I was still more or less marveling at the fact that he wasn't as clueless as I had originally thought.

Charlie rolled his eyes. "I think that's part of what taking a girl out on a date is about, isn't it?"

"Stop being a smartass," I huffed and stood up. He did likewise, smiling at me.

We smiled at each other for a moment before he spoke up again.

"Um, Liv?"

"Yes?" Don't ruin the moment, you moment-ruiner!

"Could you put my underwear back in the drawer now, please?"

Wow.

Way to kill the feeling, Charlie Bone!

_Why_ do I like you again?

* * *

**END.**

* * *

**AN: OK, hopefully you liked that. Inspiration to write hits at really weird times, un...it's 1:02 in the morning -.-; But whatever. I've always liked the Charlie/Olivia pairing, so hopefully I managed to do it justice!**

**Please tell me what you think, and keep all flames to yourselves!**


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